I work from home, but I am not a stay-at-home mom

This is pretty much how my days look in between school lessons, meals and play breaks.

I have worked from home for the better part of two years, but I am not a stay-at-home mom.

Not only do I work from home, but last July, we decided that I would also homeschool my daughter, now seven years old, and have my have my now almost three year old son home as well. So I would be building my business while having my children home with me, and take on the responsibility of educating my daughter too boot. Many thought me crazy, but we’ve worked those parts out.

I love what I do. I also love homeschooling my children. I do not love cooking, cleaning or grocery shopping, which is why I avoid it all costs.

And that was the part of our lives that was still struggling to work itself out. Since I was home all day, my husband expected that, in all of the other stuff I was doing, I should also be taking care of the house.

Now, please don’t think that I am taking this opportunity to complain about my spouse. I have lucked out in the husband department. He is my rock. But he also works around the clock (and he likes to keep that schedule), which leaves me functioning as a single parent a lot of the time.

I also don’t think he even realized he had that expectation at the time.

This is not a comparison of work-from-home mamas and stay-at-home mamas.

That’s not what Fempire Builders is about. Furthermore, I am part of the camp that believes that being a stay at home is a full time job. There’s a reason why in 2011 Forbes pinpointed the annual salary of a stay-at-home mom at over six figure. You Mamas are the chef and the teacher, the cheerleader and the warden, and the cleaning company and CEO. All at the same time. You wear all the hats, and I respect you the heck out of you for it.

My truth was a little bit different to that, yet, I think, my husband wasn’t seeing that. He truly hadn’t even thought about it, and it was causing friction in our day-to-day lives.

Since we couldn’t seem to talk about it and actually get anywhere on it, I do what I always do when work and home seem to collide. I asked my mastermind group, who are all busy boss-moms like me, for their insight. Yes, I dedicated an entire hot seat to this, and it was worth it.

They too were working from home, and, some of them, had already been through this phase of the journey. By listening to their stories, I found the words to explain to my husband that same amount of work was getting done around the house that would be getting done if the kids were at school/daycare and I working a 9-5 office job. If the dishes didn’t get done that night, they weren’t going to magically get done in the day.

Not only did he begin to understand my point of view, but I also gave myself the permission to say:

I work from home. I homeschool my kiddos. But I am not a stay-at-home mom.

And I have been living this truth ever since. Now, I share it with you. It was a truth I needed to hear, and I know that there are other Fempire Builders who need to hear it too.

We’re all in this together after all, aren’t we?

 

 

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Overwhelmed by the transition to entrepreneurship?

I’ve been there. When I left the corporate and small business worlds to start my own business, I didn’t know what I was in for. I saw other women living lives that I wanted to be mine, and wondered, “How are they doing it?” Knowing something had to give, I totally changed the way I’m running and building my business.

As a mother, blogger, mentor, speaker and business owner, I am used to balancing the demands of many roles. It is hard to “do it all,” and I have learned how to adjust to those expectations. Stick with me and you’ll be diving into your business with fresh eyes and a growth-centered mindset faster than you ever imagined!

It all came to a head in the Fall of 2015. With my daughter’s autism diagnosis and my postpartum depression following my son’s birth, my Spring/Summer that year had been pretty rough. I was feeling pretty kicked around — to say the least. As I was crawling out of the dark and twisty places life had cornered me in that year, I knew that everything had changed.

For many reasons, I couldn’t go back to my corporate life. One of the biggest reasons was that my perspective on how I was going to live my life had changed. A shift had happened. My time away from my children was going to be spent doing things that I was passionate about. Doing things that got me pumped about life. In May of 2016, I went out on my own and started my business. It was great. I was finally doing things that had me pumped about my time away from my kids. I had the flexibility to spend more time with them. At the end of the day, I had the energy to work in my household and my marriage.

But, while I was living my passion and excited about my life again, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Previously, I was a teacher, a sales professional, marketing leader and client services manager. By setting clear objectives, I succeeded in each role, even though they were in different industries.

But being an entrepreneur was a whole new world. I felt the loneliness. I had self-doubt. I didn’t know where to start…and I wasn’t the only one in this boat.

Whether I’m out speaking to a room full of female entrepreneurs or leading a workshop, one of the things that I hear over and over again from these amazing women is how great it is to be out from behind their desks and surrounded by a group of like-minded women. And as our conversation continues, it becomes clear that they are looking for a tribe of women that they can connect and collaborate with regularly in an environment that is welcoming, encouraging and safe enough to let their walls down and share. I needed a community like this too. One that encourages fellow members as they conquer fears, overcome obstacles and achieve their dreams. A tribe that leaves me with a new comfort level and the confidence I’m craving to expand my growth and limits — both personally and professionally.

And most importantly, I wanted a place that would offer me more than inspiration. One that would give me the actionable advice, education and mentorship, support and accountability that we all need.

And from these conversations and my own needs, Fempire Builders was born.

You see, it’s not just me. And it’s not just you. We are not alone. And when we come together, it’s a powerful thing. With the Fempire Builders community supporting me and holding me accountable, I have experienced the business growth that previously I had only dreamed about.

Just as it has been for other Fempire Builders, it will be the same for you, too. Wait and see!