Forgiveness + you

The power of forgiveness is something that is often underestimated. There is something so freeing about healing through forgiveness and moving on from those who have let us down. As women, we tend to be able to freely to give others the benefit of the doubt but struggle when it comes to ourselves. Instead, we end up bullying and belittling ourselves for even the slightest of mistakes.

Sometimes we fall down. It’s just a fact of life.

Sometimes our falls are big. Perhaps we fumble a big sale or we get into a fender bender. Other times they are small. We don’t get around to putting the laundry away or we overbook ourselves for the day. The reality is that it doesn’t matter.

Think about it for a moment. When our kids make a mistake, do we spend hours (sometimes days) berating them? Do we ask our friends how they could be so stupid as to forget about putting the laundry away? Even though they knew we need our lucky red shirt to be wrinkle free for the big sales meeting this morning? No. We don’t. And yet we easily waste our energy saying those hurtful things to ourselves. The shame storm and negative self-talk go on for days.

Forgiveness for yourself

Forgiveness is always the most freeing for you – the forgiver. This may be easy to say because there is no shame storm brewing and your inner voice isn’t telling you how much you suck right now. But the reality is this: you have two options when you’re sitting on the ground after your fall.

  1. Accept that it happened and learn from it
  2. Step up and change something so it doesn’t happen again

The first has you owning the mistake. Instead of beating yourself up about it, take that time and reflect on what happened. How can you learn from this situation? What will you do next time to avoid it?

The second has you, not only owning the mistake but taking immediate action for change so that it doesn’t happen again. What will you stop doing? What do you need to do more of? What change will make the most meaningful impact?

Stop cluttering your mind with crap

Let’s think back to that laundry pile sitting on your dryer. Try as you might, Monday morning often rolls around and it’s still sitting there because of Sunday night preparations for the week going off of the rails. You know what your two options are.

Do you accept that Sunday was a rough night and leave it at that? Spend time thinking about what needed more time than you allotted for it so you can schedule differently next week? Maybe, after reflection, you realize this Sunday was a one-off, put the laundry away and move on.

OR

Do you own the fact that the laundry is still sitting there, fold it and change laundry day to a day of the week that isn’t as busy as Sunday?

What matters is how you get back up

Ideally, you would do a little bit of both for your sanity’s sake. But first, you’re going to take a deep breath and forgive yourself. Yes, the laundry isn’t put away. But is it really that big of a deal? Or…No, you’re not going to get that sale because of your fumble. But won’t another one just as awesome come along?

The point is that by offering yourself forgiveness you are releasing yourself and showing yourself the same compassion you would show others. Be kind to yourself. Forgiveness is something that you deserve just as much as those you offer it to after all.

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Overwhelmed by the transition to entrepreneurship?

I’ve been there. When I left the corporate and small business worlds to start my own business, I didn’t know what I was in for. I saw other women living lives that I wanted to be mine, and wondered, “How are they doing it?” Knowing something had to give, I totally changed the way I’m running and building my business.

As a mother, blogger, mentor, speaker and business owner, I am used to balancing the demands of many roles. It is hard to “do it all,” and I have learned how to adjust to those expectations. Stick with me and you’ll be diving into your business with fresh eyes and a growth-centered mindset faster than you ever imagined!

It all came to a head in the Fall of 2015. With my daughter’s autism diagnosis and my postpartum depression following my son’s birth, my Spring/Summer that year had been pretty rough. I was feeling pretty kicked around — to say the least. As I was crawling out of the dark and twisty places life had cornered me in that year, I knew that everything had changed.

For many reasons, I couldn’t go back to my corporate life. One of the biggest reasons was that my perspective on how I was going to live my life had changed. A shift had happened. My time away from my children was going to be spent doing things that I was passionate about. Doing things that got me pumped about life. In May of 2016, I went out on my own and started my business. It was great. I was finally doing things that had me pumped about my time away from my kids. I had the flexibility to spend more time with them. At the end of the day, I had the energy to work in my household and my marriage.

But, while I was living my passion and excited about my life again, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Previously, I was a teacher, a sales professional, marketing leader and client services manager. By setting clear objectives, I succeeded in each role, even though they were in different industries.

But being an entrepreneur was a whole new world. I felt the loneliness. I had self-doubt. I didn’t know where to start…and I wasn’t the only one in this boat.

Whether I’m out speaking to a room full of female entrepreneurs or leading a workshop, one of the things that I hear over and over again from these amazing women is how great it is to be out from behind their desks and surrounded by a group of like-minded women. And as our conversation continues, it becomes clear that they are looking for a tribe of women that they can connect and collaborate with regularly in an environment that is welcoming, encouraging and safe enough to let their walls down and share. I needed a community like this too. One that encourages fellow members as they conquer fears, overcome obstacles and achieve their dreams. A tribe that leaves me with a new comfort level and the confidence I’m craving to expand my growth and limits — both personally and professionally.

And most importantly, I wanted a place that would offer me more than inspiration. One that would give me the actionable advice, education and mentorship, support and accountability that we all need.

And from these conversations and my own needs, Fempire Builders was born.

You see, it’s not just me. And it’s not just you. We are not alone. And when we come together, it’s a powerful thing. With the Fempire Builders community supporting me and holding me accountable, I have experienced the business growth that previously I had only dreamed about.

Just as it has been for other Fempire Builders, it will be the same for you, too. Wait and see!