I have worked from home for the better part of two years, but I am not a stay-at-home mom.
Not only do I work from home, but last July, we decided that I would also homeschool my daughter, now seven years old, and have my have my now almost three year old son home as well. So I would be building my business while having my children home with me, and take on the responsibility of educating my daughter too boot. Many thought me crazy, but we’ve worked those parts out.
I love what I do. I also love homeschooling my children. I do not love cooking, cleaning or grocery shopping, which is why I avoid it all costs.
And that was the part of our lives that was still struggling to work itself out. Since I was home all day, my husband expected that, in all of the other stuff I was doing, I should also be taking care of the house.
Now, please don’t think that I am taking this opportunity to complain about my spouse. I have lucked out in the husband department. He is my rock. But he also works around the clock (and he likes to keep that schedule), which leaves me functioning as a single parent a lot of the time.
I also don’t think he even realized he had that expectation at the time.
This is not a comparison of work-from-home mamas and stay-at-home mamas.
That’s not what Fempire Builders is about. Furthermore, I am part of the camp that believes that being a stay at home is a full time job. There’s a reason why in 2011 Forbes pinpointed the annual salary of a stay-at-home mom at over six figure. You Mamas are the chef and the teacher, the cheerleader and the warden, and the cleaning company and CEO. All at the same time. You wear all the hats, and I respect you the heck out of you for it.
My truth was a little bit different to that, yet, I think, my husband wasn’t seeing that. He truly hadn’t even thought about it, and it was causing friction in our day-to-day lives.
Since we couldn’t seem to talk about it and actually get anywhere on it, I do what I always do when work and home seem to collide. I asked my mastermind group, who are all busy boss-moms like me, for their insight. Yes, I dedicated an entire hot seat to this, and it was worth it.
They too were working from home, and, some of them, had already been through this phase of the journey. By listening to their stories, I found the words to explain to my husband that same amount of work was getting done around the house that would be getting done if the kids were at school/daycare and I working a 9-5 office job. If the dishes didn’t get done that night, they weren’t going to magically get done in the day.
Not only did he begin to understand my point of view, but I also gave myself the permission to say:
I work from home. I homeschool my kiddos. But I am not a stay-at-home mom.
And I have been living this truth ever since. Now, I share it with you. It was a truth I needed to hear, and I know that there are other Fempire Builders who need to hear it too.
We’re all in this together after all, aren’t we?